Querida Hermanita: Top 10 College Maxims
Querida hermanita,
Congratulations! After so many years of hearing, “College is SO important! You have to work hard if you want to get into a good college! Hey, Leslie! Don’t forget: COLLEGE!”, you’re finally going! You went through many ups and downs to make this dream come true. Take a moment to acknowledge how amazing you are and feel proud of yourself. Your teachers, mentors, family members, and friends are all celebrating with you.
I’m writing to share a few things I wish I knew before going to college. A great thing about being a whole nine years older than you is that—in some way, shape, or form—telling you a bit about my life can guide yours. A few friends and mentors of mine kindly offered to give you advice, too! I’ve done my best to incorporate their wise words in this letter.
Disclaimer: there is no one way to approach college. Take only what resonates with you and keep the rest somewhere in the back of your mind with the other Oh, Jen topics.
College will be unlike anything you’ve experienced. For one, you’ll have so much more freedom. Along with that freedom you’ll have less reassurance that you’re making the right decisions along the way. Part of growing up is making your own choices and allowing yourself to make the most of their result. College is about learning. You won’t always have the answers and that’s okay; learning is part of living in this unpredictable, wondrous world.
I pray you turn to this letter for reassurance when you need it most. Feel free to share it with your friends. Print it out and hang it up in your dorm or save it somewhere handy.
I’ve crafted this letter with a lot of care. That said, if I tried to write down absolutely everything I wish I’d known before starting college, you’d graduate before I finished. So, I decided to narrow my main takeaways into 10 major maxims.
My heart is with you, wherever you decide to go. Siempre estare aqui para quererte, ayudarte, y cuidarte. You know that Mami is too. While you’re in college, please call us! We want to know all about your adventures. Send us pictures, voice messages, or a quick text to let us know what you’re up to and how you’re doing. Visit when you can. No matter what, remember that we are here for you.
Top 10 College Maxims
You have what it takes to succeed
You are a superstar. The fact that you’ve navigated public schools in the Los Angeles Unified School District is already a testament of your resilience. Unfortunately, there are too many students from our area in South Central who don’t have the opportunity to graduate high school and go to college. You, little one, have been lucky and blessed enough to have caring teachers and mentors along the way who helped you succeed. You will graduate high school in a few months and go to a four-year college this fall! What a blessing! One of the first things I want you to truly keep in mind when you set foot on campus for the first time is that you’ve earned your place in the class of 2023! You are entitled to and deserving of all the resources you need while you’re there. “You are where you should be, doing what you should be doing”, as my dear creative writing teacher, Mr. Schallert, once told me, “otherwise, you’d be someplace else doing something else”. Your presence at whichever college you choose to go to, matters. Your voice matters. The fact of the matter is that higher education was not created for people like you. And yet, you’ve gone against all odds and earned your rightful place there. You’ve got grit, you’ve got ganas. The hustle you’ve learned in the hood is more than enough to help you thrive. Even on days when the going gets tough, you’ll make it through. And when you feel that you absolutely cannot, I’ll be there to remind you of your beauty, intelligence, and talents. You are worthy and capable. Tú puedes, Échale ganas!
Trust your gut
You have almost 18 years of experience in this world so you know a lot more than you think. Whenever a situation does not feel right, do not doubt yourself. Come up with a plan to:
Leave the situation/person making you uncomfortable
Find someone who can help you determine the best way to address the situation/person
Call me and/or Mami and we will help you get home so that we can make sure you are safe. We’ll figure everything else out from there. Your wellbeing always comes first.
Connect with your professors
Professors have the potential to be incredible mentors and advocates in college and beyond. Ask upperclassmen who the best professors are and make an effort to take a class with them. The quality of teaching and advising goes a long way. Each professor runs their class differently and has different expectations so go to their office hours to gain a better sense of how to succeed in their class. Be honest with them about how you feel the class is going, seek clarification or advice, and make sure to participate during lecture or seminar. If you build a positive connection with your professors, they will gladly give you advice and write you letters of recommendation for future opportunities.
Take advantage of on-campus resources, including:
Your Academic Advisor Before the semester begins, find your academic advisor. Introduce yourself. Tell them what you’re passionate about or about your future goals. If you have absolutely no idea, tell them that too. Ask them for guidance or clarification on any requirements to make sure you’re on the right track to graduate. Work with them to craft your class schedule each semester and discuss potential career paths. Befriend them. They may also write you a letter of recommendation when you apply to your dream job.
Student Affairs Office Most colleges have an office or building where you can find important information about off-campus opportunities (including study abroad, summer internships, research funding, etc.) Learn about grants or scholarships that can give you money to pursue an exciting opportunity. Colleges have $$$ and it takes some asking around to figure out how to get some to make the most out of your experience.
Office of Technology Unless you’re incredibly lucky, your laptop will crash or freak you out at least once while you’re in college. Find the tech center at your school for help before choosing to buy a new laptop or using outside services to help you fix it. It might be cheaper or even free to get on-campus assistance. They also often have good student discounts for laptops, chargers, and other equipment.
Career center One of the main things that my friends and mentors want you to know, is that internships and other work experiences in your areas of interest are just as, if not more important, than coursework! Find an internship or study abroad opportunity every summer! (ask around to keep track of application deadlines) You can schedule an appointment at your school’s career center & have a professional look over your resume. They can help you prepare for on-campus or off-campus interviews for internships and post-college jobs. Once you start to have an idea of what you might want to do after college, look at job postings or grad school program sites and figure out how to submit a strong application. Also! Reach out to alumni from your school who are working in fields that interest you. A simple e-mail or meeting can go a long way!
Faculty/Author Talks: Renowned people often swing by college campuses to give a lecture, sit on a panel, accept an award, or host a workshop. See if there’s a school calendar or e-mail list that has this information. Take a notebook or something and write down anything that inspires you.
Field Trips - Field trips? In college? That’s right! They’ll likely be called excursions or outings or something, but most colleges offer opportunities to go off-campus for shows, museum visits, tours of something cool in the community, concerts, etc. Keep an eye out for e-mails or campus bulletins for these and make some time to go on your own or with friends at least one each year.
FREE events - So many study breaks and student productions (dance, theater, a cappella, to name a few) are free for college students. There may not be another time in your life where you can take as much advantage of these opportunities.
5. Learn how to study & Ask for help
Every college has a study bureau of sorts. Basically, it will be an office or a building with professionals who can give you advice on how to study effectively. Figure out what kind of study space you work best in (a coffee shop with some music and chatter, a well-lit library with absolute silence, or your dorm desk, for instance). And gain some input to determine what study methods will help you learn. Ask your classmates what strategies they use to work through a reading, a problem-set, or a lab report, etc. What works for them may not work for you, but at least you’ll have an idea. Avoid procrastinating! For the sake of your grade and well-being, create a study schedule or writing schedule to make sure that you get through your assignments in a timely fashion and feel ready to submit when the deadline comes around.
You don’t need to know everything and college is a time for you to learn and ask as many questions as you can. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Asking your peers and/or professors for help will really help you grow!
6. Prioritize sleep (8-10 hours)
Contrary to popular belief, all-nighters are not cool! To make sure that you can be productive and healthy, you need to rest. Even machines run out of battery. Recharging will help you be efficient and happy. Whether you’re a morning bird, a night-owl, or a human-just-trying-to-function, give yourself time to rest. Making time for yourself to relax or unwind each day will help you be more productive.
7. Branch out & Take Risks
Aim to connect with people who may seem to have nothing in common with you. Beware of assumptions, stereotypes, and generalizations about other people. Especially, of people you’ve never met! It’s much easier to stick to people who share your background (and I’m NOT saying you should leave fellow low-income-first-gen-Latinx folks behind). However, as a friend of mine so eloquently put it, “It is just as important to find a balance between seeking out the Latinx community for a sense of familiarity and being intentional about reaching out to people who on the surface seem like they simply wouldn’t understand you or your background.”
In terms of other risks, try a class that covers a topic you’ve never heard of or one that interests you but you’re not sure aligns with your future goals. As another friend of mine wrote, “college is an intellectual buffet and you should try a little bit of everything, even if it seems impractical”. If it interests you and gets you thinking in new ways, that's worthwhile!
8. Create Communities
You’ll find friends through classes, student groups, church, or social events. You may find your best friends right away. You might not. Socializing is just as important as your academics & your fondest memories will consist of people who may become lifelong friends. Find friends who uplift you. Find friends who make you laugh. Find friends you can confide in. Find friends you can turn to when you have a problem. And, of course, be a good friend. College will have moments when you feel incredibly homesick and/or lonely. Everyone will experience their own set of challenges. Listen to others and seek to understand their perspective. And, as Mami always says, “Above all, be kind.”
College is a time to grow. You may drift away from people you felt a deep connection with or build strong friendships with people you wouldn’t expect. No matter what, just keep striving to be your best self. Lend a hand when needed. Have long talks with your friends. Get to know where they are from, where they see themselves, what makes them happy. Make time to study together, keep each other safe when you go out for fun, and turn to each other when the going gets tough. Another friend of mine wanted me to remind you that you should “Always take initiative to hang out with people and create opportunities to connect because even if it is easier (or even right) to blame others for not taking time or being inclusive in the end you do yourself a disservice by not doing what’s in your control.”
Speaking of community, get involved in volunteer organizations or extracurricular opportunities that serve the community around you. And, of course, always return to your community. When you can, go back to Santee and share your experience with younger students. Your experience can change someone’s life for the better.
9. Take care of your body!
Exercise regularly, eat fruits and veggies, and (if you choose to drink) don’t poison your body with too much alcohol! Your body is home to your beautiful soul. It can be easy to neglect it when you are staying busy with classes, assignments, and extracurricular activities. Make sure you stay well-fed and hydrated! Pack healthy snacks and buy a good water bottle to carry around everywhere. Hit the gym when you can! More likely than not, the gym will be free so you can’t afford not to go :) Meditate, try yoga, run, go hiking, sign up for fitness classes, whatever—stay active!
10. Embrace failure
While this may seem to contradict the very first maxim on this list, the two actually go hand in hand. Failure is part of everyone’s life. There is no perfect way to navigate college. Nobody has a perfect academic record. Nobody has a perfect life. This is okay. Failure, while painful, is a great teacher. Trust me when I say that you’ll learn more from times when you think you’ve failed than from times when you feel like everything is as it should be.
College, after all, is mostly about discovering yourself. Although it's perfectly normal to stress, don’t be too hard on yourself. You may want to change majors or career paths along the way and that’s fine. When you encounter academic challenges (let’s say you get a grade you weren’t expecting or need an extension to finish an assignment) know that struggling is part of learning. You have nothing to prove. Your grades do not define you. Your current situation will never determine your potential. A professor of mine is known for saying, “You were someone before you came to college. College, in itself, does not define your worth.” Though seemingly self-evident, when I first heard him say this, I nearly cried. Succeeding in higher education has always felt incredibly validating and I had not taken the time to acknowledge and appreciate the fact that I was already someone, with or without the college degree. You are already special, sis. Our beloved friend and mentor, Mr. Quezada, would want you to keep in mind that “Life is not about where you start. It is about where and who you want to be.” Failure is a temporary situation, it is not your identity. Whenever failure comes around, know that no matter how awful it might make you feel, it will get better and you will be okay. And remember: you are NOT a failure. You’ll never, ever be a failure.
I love you so much, sis. I am so proud of you. The University you attend is lucky to have such a bold, brilliant, caring student. Oh! One last thing—one of my best friends shared this quote with me when I was struggling and it always helps: When in doubt, “toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap, and handle it!”