Self-Care is: Care for All

Jenesis Fonseca
Reflections

Self-Care is: Care for All 

Caring for one’s self is part of the everyday. To survive, we look out for ourselves. A self-care practice is less instinctual and more intentional. Self-care is especially important right now—we are still grappling with a global pandemic in addition to constant reminders of terror and tragedy. Through self-care, we can improve our mental health and overall well-being. Beyond being great for the self, I believe self-care ultimately results in better care for all. We show up better for others when we are intentional about caring for the self. If we are to make any difference beyond ourselves, we must care for ourselves first.

During a recent Daily Calm session (via the Calm app), this frame of thinking came up as part of the “Bodhisattva” concept, a deep awareness and compassion towards others. That brief meditation session reminded me that compassion for the self manifests as compassion for others. Our actions have ripple effects and we have better handle on creating a positive ripple effect when we practice self-care.

This week, I felt especially moved to share some elements of my self-care practice. I hope this post inspires you to continue your own self-care journey or adopt one that fits your needs and your life. Please take care of yourself.

How I Self-Care

I take care of myself by asking myself a lot of questions, noticing how I feel, and leaning into what brings me feelings of safety, peace, joy, and comfort. I realize I tend to different facets of myself. This makes me feel stronger and happier. There’s always room for improvement (and I’m no expert), I only share what works for me.

Caring for The Spiritual Self 

  • I spend time reading the Bible. I love reading and learning so turning to the Bible always proves enlightening.

    • A few favorite verses:

      • “I have strength for all things in Christ, Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency].” - Philippians 4:13

      • “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” - Deuteronomy 31:6

      • “Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself with the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” - Psalm 37:3-4

      • “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to their life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” - Luke 12:33-26

  • I read devotionals. It’s lovely to read a little something that helps me think about my faith and how I can apply aspects of it into my everyday.

  • Some questions I ask my spiritual self include:

    • Do I feel connected to my faith and my core values?

    • Do my recent actions align with what I believe?

    • What or who can I pray for today?

Caring for The Physical Self

  • The older I get, the more I love and appreciate my body. I feel incredibly blessed to be healthy. For me, self care means being in tune with my body and ensuring that I take care of it through intuitive eating (being aware of how food affects my body), moving my body everyday, and resting. 

  • I take a long bath to soothing music. I have a Spotify playlist called “Bath Lullabies” that I play in the background. 

  • My self-care also consists of checking in with myself through various questions, including:

    • Do I feel well rested? Do I have energy and focus today?

    • Am I craving a particular kind of food? Is there something I can eat that will bring me joy? (the answer is always Hot Cheetos lol)

    • Does anything ache or hurt?

    • Would a breathing exercise help me feel better?

    • Have I gotten fresh air today? 

  • I wear something comfortable. These days, my lounge-wear consists of a cute top (or tee) and the comfiest shorts. If I feel especially tired or don’t plan to be outside for the rest of the day, I’ll wear a comfy robe. 

  • I paint my nails. I don’t know why this brings me so much joy but it does! I love picking out a nice color and painting my nails while listening to an audio book or some music. While I’m waiting for my nails to dry, I’ll watch a YouTube video (or two!) or watch a show. 

  • I make time to meditate because a pause in my day really helps me feel better. I love listening to the Calm app’s guided meditations but lately, I’ve just been setting aside 20-30 minutes in the afternoon to simply relax, breathe deeply, and try to just be. I feel so much more energized after this!

Caring for The Emotional Self 

  • Journaling helps me be more emotionally-aware. I love journaling! If you’re interested in a thorough description of my daily journaling process, check out my guide to life-changing journaling.

  • Therapy sessions. I feel so blessed and privileged to have access to therapy. I have a weekly phone session with a therapist that I’ve connected with for years. These weekly sessions are crucial to my self-care practice. I value being able to talk through my emotions and learn how to better cope or handle difficulties. 

  • I watch content that makes me smile. Sometimes, there’s just so much going on that it’s tough not to feel overwhelmed or just plain sad. So, I’ve become super intentional about making time to just laugh or have fun. I love watching light-hearted content. These are just a few in my self-care kit.

    • YouTube

      • Alexa Chung (Alexa Chung is the absolute cutest and funniest - I could watch her do literally anything)

      • Bretman Rock  (videos with his sister “Princess” are the best. I admire Bretman’s confidence and energy)

Caring for The Social Self

  • Connecting with loved ones. Caring for the social self means considering how I connect with others. This has been tougher to do these days and it’s one that I definitely need to work on. A lyric from Lauv’s “Modern Loneliness” feels so relatable: “Love my friends to death, but I never call and I never text.” I mean, not never but not often enough. The only person I can talk to at literately any time of day and through any medium is my mom. Otherwise, phone calls (while lovely) are just SO tough for me. I attribute this to being more of an introvert. Facetime sessions/Zoom sessions are also very draining lol Texts, I’m a lot more comfortable with but, even so, I don’t reach out too often. #MillenialThings?

    I do aspire to eventually implement something like what Brendon Burchard does, which is:

    • Reach out to at least five people everyday to let them know that you’re thinking about them. (Brendon actually leaves them a quick voice recording and I think that’s so adorable). #goals

    • If able to spend time with others, be present. Focus on creating deep connections and channel positive energy. Listen. Engage.

    • Demonstrate love and compassion for others, strangers included.

  • Evaluating my social media feed. Sometimes I need a social media break and sometimes I need to reconnect with peeps on my one social media platform: Instagram. Recently, I started carefully curating the content I come across. Aside from following celebrity crushes and accounts that affirm the importance of mental health, I make sure I’m only following people:

    • I actually connect with /interact with

    • Who inspire me to be a better me

    • Don’t make me feel terrible about my body, my personality, or my core values.

Some questions I ask myself include:

    • Could I use a break from: social media? news? my phone, in general? (I’ve gone weekends or almost a week without using my phone)

    • Is there someone I feel moved to connect with or encourage right now?

    • Is something I’m coming across bringing me pain? Will I feel better if I unfollow, mute, or restrict access to that content (even if just for a set period of time)?

Caring for The Creative Self 

  • I read poetry. Spending time with poetry is always, always fruitful.

  • I write poems. This summer, I’m putting on my “poetry hat” and focusing on writing more poems. Stay tuned!

  • Brainstorm ideas for my dissertation or side projects. I have a couple of notebooks for this. I’ll take some colorful pens/markers and just spend time thinking.

  • I consider this blog to be an element of self-care :) I love creating the thumbnails, being creative about how I organize what I want to share, and editing elements of my website.

There are so many other aspects of the self to care for—these are just some examples of how I practice self-care. What does self-care mean to you? How can you be more intentional about caring for yourself these days? Remember: Self-care won’t just benefit you, it will benefit everyone around you. You make a difference when you care for you.

Con cariño,

Jenesis

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