I resist.
During my first two years at Harvard, students and faculty members alike would mention that graduate school is, by nature, awful for one’s mental health. “But, why?” I’d ask, bothered by a matter-of-fact tone in their statement. They’d usually respond with bits and pieces about particularly negative experiences at their graduate school. While they differed in details, their explanations shared a disturbing pattern: a learned acceptance that a detriment in one’s mental health is a non-negotiable part of the graduate school deal.
“It’s just the way it is, you know?”
I’m not saying graduate school should be a breeze. Sure, we all know at least one person who seems to sail right through their program requirements—they post glamorous graduation pics on their social media pages just about every other year (yes, that person). But, for the most part, graduate school is a particularly challenging endeavor that can take a toll on students’ mental health.
A major problem with an “only the toughest survive graduate school” mentality is that it connects misery and meritocracy. It denies, for example, that most graduate programs were not established with first-generation, low-income students of color in mind. The feeling of unbelonging is placed on students, rather than on graduate school’s legacy of exclusion.
There should be stronger institutional support systems accessible to students as they navigate academia. As I write this, I am also thinking about undergraduate students. Last semester, during my time as a teaching fellow, undergrads often expressed frustration with on-campus resources that did not truly serve their needs. By truly serve I mean that it is not enough for these resources to exist. It is not enough for universities to have mental health centers if students have to wait over two months for an appointment. It is not enough for universities to promote counseling services if students fear that reaching out to a university’s health center will immediately force them to take time off or spend time in a psychiatric hospital. (Important note: I am not saying those aren’t viable options for some people—Instead, I am emphasizing that fear over severe outcomes can keep students from reaching out for help. *Also, while those options are best for some, they are not suitable solutions for everyone.*)
If you are in graduate school: resist narratives that normalize a toxic “it’s supposed to be awful” culture.
Yes, graduate school is tough but it should not feel punitive. Yes, graduate school will push you to work harder, but it should not make you miserable.
You are worthy of peace and joy as you work on your degree. Your mental health comes first. Period.
Con cariño,
Jenesis