From elementary school to early grad school, my schedule was full and I was perpetually on-the-go. My schedule is still full but now, it includes specific blocks of time devoted to rest. Aside from writing sessions and meetings, my day also includes recess, meditation, and sometimes, a nap. I honor those blocks of time as much as I honor a meeting with my dissertation advisors.
At the start of my PhD journey, I resisted rest. I didn’t want to be deemed lazy or unproductive. In my first year, alone, there was plenty of work to do: I took five classes each semester, co-founded a mentorship program, and actively participated in a leadership institute. With stacks of books to read, papers to write, and meetings to attend, rest felt unwarranted. I know. I know. Listening to The Power of Vulnerability by researcher, storyteller, and proud Texan, Brené Brown, helped me realize that I was not alone in that mindset; there is a lot of shame associated with rest. If I had the chance to tell Brené Brown about my first-year grad student life, she’d surely put her hand on my shoulder, shake her head, and say, “Bless your baby heart.” Brown, herself, spent decades struggling through her own shame about rest in academia. In her writing (which I highly recommend!), she reflects on how her upbringing played a major role in her perception of rest as weakness; her family was always working, tending to everyone’s needs, never taking time off even when sick, etc.
“It’s hard to let go of productivity as self-worth”
- Brené Brown, PhDWhen Brown shared that, I couldn’t help but think of how, growing up, I hardly witnessed my mother resting. When she wasn’t at work, she was cleaning, cooking, or helping a loved one through a problem. Rest was reserved for sleep, and sleep just happened at night—no naps. With two girls to raise and provide for (on her own), rest felt like a luxury she could not indulge in. To this day, she is the hardest working person I know. But, thankfully, she’s also learned to prioritize rest, to make time to relax (I’m sure it helps that my little sister and I are older and able to take care of ourselves). I like to remind her as much as I remind myself that rest is good and important.
“You are not the work you do; you are the person you are.”
- Toni Morrison
Photo by Isabella and Louisa Fischer on Unsplash
I now understand rest as invaluable to a positive state of mind. Rest is crucial for energy I need to read, write, and think through page after page of my dissertation.
Reasons to Rest
Space to Hear Inspiration - Rest can invite ideas to emerge or make it easier to finally hear something that has been patiently waiting for attention. I often find that stillness helps me gather my thoughts. When I rest, I create the space to figure out how to write through something that I’ve struggled to put into words. During a writer’s panel at the 2015 Latinx Literature Conference, I recall author Sandra Cisneros saying that she loves to sleep because much of her inspiration comes from dreaming; her writing process is directly connected to rest.
Giving the Body and the Mind a Break - Rest for rest itself is a reason to unplug. Sometimes, I just need a break from thinking, writing, and being.
Rest is Energizing - I feel better able to tackle challenges when I’m well rested. It’s like charging a battery: performance is better and lasts longer. I always feel better after I rest.
"My mind works in idleness.
To do nothing is often my most profitable way."
- Virginia WoolfFavorite Ways to Rest
Napping - I love naps. I often use the Calm app to guide me through a brief afternoon nap. Thanks to their nap stories, my “perfect” nap time is now about 26 minutes. If I’m super tired, though, I’ll let myself sleep for as long as I need to feel refreshed.
Meditating - I also use the Calm app for guided meditation sessions. Calm has different meditation sessions; each also varies in length. The ‘Daily Calm’ series is 10 minutes and I like to listen to that one every late afternoon.
Reading - When I’m not reading for my dissertation, delving into a book feels leisurely. I love reading poems. I also enjoy books about self growth and development.
Current Reads:
Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday
salt. by Nayyirah Waheed
Taking a long bath - I love to listen to relaxing music when I take a long bath. Listening to this playlist helps me tune out any thoughts or worries and truly relax.
Some days, I still struggle to rest without guilt but I push through the discomfort to honor my mind, body, and soul. Rest is the ultimate self-care. Without rest, I know that I wouldn’t be able to fulfill my goal of working on my dissertation every single weekday. I wouldn’t be able to show up as my best self. Thanks to rest, I avoid burning out. I have the energy to give my dissertation the time and attention it deserves.
I wrote a short poem about rest and turn to it often. I hope it encourages you to get the rest you need today (and every day).
Poem: permission to rest.
Off to nap,
Jenesis